Trauma-informed THERAPY FOR SEXUALLY ABUSED MEN
in Seattle, Bellevue, and all of Washington state
A neutral SPACE WHERE YOU don’t need to perform
so youCAN FINALLY say
WHAT HAPPENED
AND RELEASE THE SHADOWS THAT HAUNT YOUR LIFE
I offer a free, virtual 30-minute consultation so you can find out if this might work for you. you don’t need to commit or know where to start.
“I can’t talk about it. I have been stuffing these ugly memories away for so long.
sometimes i experience rage or feelings of intense powerlessness. I have a sense where these feelings are coming from but I don’t know what to do about it.”
“SOMETIMES I HAVE FLASHBACKS OF WHAT HAPPENED. OR, WHEN I FEEL DOWN ABOUT MYSELF, THESE FEELINGS COME BUBBLING UP.I DISTRACT MYSELF WHEN IT HAPPENS.I DO Things that aren’t good for me.”
“feeling out of control is the worst. i hate feeling helpless or vulnerable and i do anything i can to avoid it. i have a sense that i’m doing damage to my life and my relationships. it’s somehow connected to what happened.”
You are not damaged.
This is not who you are. It’s how you adapted to harsh living conditions when you didn’t have many options.
Healing IS STRENGTH, NOT WEAKNESS. MAYBE IT’S TIME TO LET IT GO.
STUFFING DOWN THE MEMORIES IS GETTING TOO HARD.
They have been with you for so long that they feel as if they are part of your personality.
They aren’t.
When you identify the root cause, targeted healing can begin.
* You can pull off the bandaid so the wound can heal. You can leave the past where it belongs.
* You can end the wordless terror once and for all.
* You can quit your methods of distraction before they hurt you.
* You can “time travel” into the past, so the Adult You can go and rescue the Younger You. Don’t abandon the little guy any longer. The Adult You can handle the situation.
* You can bring today’s strength and power into a past when you didn’t have the resources you have today.
* You can let it all out. You can let it go.
* You can stand firmly in the strong, resourceful, resilient, and capable man you have become even when life throws you a curve ball. You’ll be even more resilient than before.
* You can tolerate moments of less-than-perfection without the rage or turmoil once you’ve healed the past.
* Boys get to be sad too. Men get raped, sexually assaulted, and abused in childhood and adulthood. Let’s talk about it. Sexual assault is not just for women. Neither is compassion.
* You may let go of addictions by healing the past. 80% of addiction cases are based on trauma.
* You can go from being numb to fully feeling again.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
WHAT THIS KIND OF ANguish ACTUALLY IS
Anxiety and emotional anguish in relationships following a traumatic childhood don’t mean something has gone wrong inside you. They’re signs that once upon a time, your nervous system has been pushed beyond what it could safely handle.
Perhaps the strain is ongoing. Perhaps the anguish and anxiety are reverberations from the past that have become linked to intimate relationships. Your partner’s bad mood serves as a reminder of a time you’d rather forget.
You’re not doomed. Your inner alarm center is turned up a bit too high because it once had to be.
When something overwhelming happens - a rupture, betrayal, a loss, or being blamed or dismissed - your system shifts into protection.
Your body stays alert. Your mind scans for danger. Sensations and thoughts can be intense and feel unpredicitble or out of control.
For people who are capable and high-functioning, this can be confusing. You may be used to thinking clearly, staying calm and handling anything life throws at you.
When anxiety or panic takes over, it can feel as if you’ve lost access to yourself - or as if you can no longer trust your own reactions.
This isn’t regression or weakness. It’s not a personal failure.
It’s a nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do when safety, reality, or self-trust have been shaken.
What often helps most is not pushing through, fixing, or forcing yourself back to “normal”, but having the space to slow down, make sense of what happened, and let your nervous system settle in the presence of safety and understanding.
Does it feel like it's not getting better no matter what you do?
What if you have been treating the symptoms but not the cause?
* Has therapy made you feel better, but never brought about the profound changes you hoped for?
* Do you wonder if you are “too broken” or “unfixable” and therapy doesn’t work for you?
* Do you wonder if you might have to settle for going through life in semi-resignated acceptance that this is as good as it gets?
* Does your career require you to maintain a persona or a facade, and no one would guess how dark your thoughts can become sometimes? Do you feel exhausted, like a burned out actor in your own life?
* Do you struggle with thoughts or emotions that can get out of control, as if your emotional brain hijacked your body?
* Do you feel demoralized, hopeless, or numb?
* Do relationships tend to go sour?
* Do you feel like you can’t keep going like this anymore, but you don’t know what to do about it?
Trauma can be hard to detect. WE RARELY THINK OF OURSELVES AS TRAUMATIZED.
Trauma can be large, such as a natural disaster, a crime, or sexual assault. Trauma can also be small, such as unintentional neglect in childhood because older siblings overwhelmed the parents.
Unrecognized and untreated trauma can leave you feeling distrustful of yourself, out of control, numb, untreatable, or “crazy”.
HI, I AM VERONIKA STUTZ, LMHC.
I believe it can be done.
CHANGE IS IN OUR NATURE. THE BODY IS DESIGNED TO ADAPT, GROW AND HEAL. THE BRAIN POSSESSES NEUROPLASTICITY - THE ABILITY TO GROW OR REORGANIZE NEURAL NETWORKS. WE ARE MADE TO CONTINUE ADAPTING TO OUR ENVIRONMENT; PHYSICALLY, STRUCTURALLY, NEUROLOGICALLY, AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
I am an EMDRIA-certified EMDR therapist. I specialize in trauma, and I conceptualize symptoms through a trauma-informed lens.
WE CAN ENGAGE THE INNATE ADAPTABILITY OF OUR BRAINS AND NERVOUS SYSTEMS FOR NATURAL HEALING.
I am an experienced guide with a powerful lantern. I know a way out of the dark tunnel because I've been there many times. I know that the scary shadows on the walls can't hurt you if we flash my lantern and pass by them, leaving the past where it belongs.
I'll take your hand, and I won't let go unless you want me to. We’ll walk together until you safely reach the light.
This is where I can assist you best:
Heal your Heart. Live with Ease. Thrive with confidence.
I help high-functioning adults understand how traumatic past events manifest as emotional problems in the present. Together, we rewrite old scripts and exit negative cycles through neurological change.
You can move from “making it through the day” to “flourishing emotionally” even if it seemed impossible before, too time-consuming, too painful, ineffective, and too disruptive.
Why EMDR Works with My Approach
I believe healing happens through real human connection — not through sterile professionalism or endless clinical jargon. When you’re in my office, you’re sitting with a real person. I’ll meet you where you are, without judgment or pretense. Sometimes that means we’ll talk deeply about pain and meaning, and sometimes we’ll use humor to make the hard moments a little easier to bear.
I don’t see you as “broken.” I see a nervous system that’s been doing its best to protect you — even if those old strategies don’t work anymore. Together, we’ll help your system learn that it’s finally safe to let go.
If it fits for you, we utilize EMDR to engage the innate adaptability of your brain and nervous system for natural healing.
My approach to EMDR is integrative and personalized. While the Adaptive Processing Model of EMDR is at the heart of trauma work, we also draw from the Rogerian Person-Centered Approach, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Ego State interventions, Gestalt Therapy, Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theories, and Mindfulness.
Together, these perspectives allow us to work not only with the memories but also with the parts of you that hold pain, survival strategies, and resilience—creating a deeper, safer, and more lasting transformation
You won’t have to tell your story over and over again or re-live the worst moments of your life. Instead, we’ll work with your nervous system to gently reprocess what’s been stuck, so the memories lose their charge — and you can finally feel grounded, present, and more you.
Clients often tell me that sessions feel surprisingly calm, even when we’re moving through painful material. EMDR allows healing to unfold in a way that feels natural, safe, and integrated — not forced.
My approach is part neuroscience, part soul work. I bring both structure and humanity into the room. You bring your courage, curiosity, and truth. Together, we create the conditions your system needs to finally rest and heal.
Always at your pace, on your timing, and with your consent.
WORKING TOGETHER -
THIS IS WHAT IT MAY LOOK LIKE
1) Preparation: ASSESSMENT, DIAGNOSIS, TREATMENT PLAN
Generally, we will meet 1-2x per week for 60-90 minutes at your appointed time.
For the first 2 sessions, we meet for 90 minutes to complete an assessment together, identify a diagnosis if you want one (unless you’re an insurance client, then we must add a diagnosis), identify your goals, and make a treatment plan.
2) The beginning stage: Playing puzzle
We get to know each other until we know and trust each other. Since we don’t want to waste any time, we’ll start by spilling all the puzzle pieces of your life on the table. We’ll look at each piece and see how they all fit together until we have a coherent picture.
We’ll start an EMDR case conceptualization and possibly do a brief demo of how EMDR works.
We may use Gestalt therapy/parts work/Ego States therapy. You’ll playfully give different personality parts, thoughts, feelings, or memories a voice until your entire inner committee feels heard and understood. It’s a bit like role-playing or theater, and it saves you from “talking about it”. You’ll just … spill it. I’ll show you and support you, and we make it fun. Of course, I’ll always be open to your feedback, and you don’t have to use interventions you don’t like.
We may learn cognitive-behavioral strategies and behavioral supports as necessary, such as learning Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills by workbook or groups, or creating action-plans to begin changing habits.
We’ll engage in EMDR resourcing, which means strengthening the part of you that is wise, capable, skilled, heroic, resilient, and so very lovable and worthy.
3) The intermediate stage: Detective work
We’ll start the detective work of seeking the needle in the haystack, which we do by riding feelings back in time to the earliest time you remember feeling this way. We may give parts a voice again to find out what “decisions” you made about life at a time when you were too young to know the final truth about life. We’ll identify limiting beliefs that may have kept you safe at the time but are no longer needed.
We’ll identify negative core beliefs about yourself that are associated to traumatic experiences.
From here, we’ll either continue parts work and engage in Healing of Memories or self-parenting, move into EMDR processing, or alternate and mix modalities depending on what works best for you.
4) The end stage: The Harvest
We continue EMDR processing until you report no symptoms, we see behaviors change positively, you reached your goals, we measure your progress on a scale from 0-10, and we determine that you have achieved significant change.
When we are certain that you are satisfied with the improvements, we switch to bi-weekly therapy sessions to taper off and see how you do on your own. After a month or so, we’ll officially end therapy and switch to voluntary wellness visits. This means that you can schedule irregular single sessions to check in.
the FREE CONSULTATION
1) Click on the “Schedule Your Free Consultation” button. It will take you to my secure client platform Simple Practice, where you can schedule a meeting. You can also email me directly at vivi@phoenixrisescounseling.org, or use the contact form to ask for a meeting time that is not listed. I may be able to see you earlier if someone cancels.
2) I will either confirm your consultation through Simple Practice, or email you additional availabilities.
3) You will receive an email from Simple Practice, giving you access to the portal. For a consultation, please fill out the Informed Consent for a Telehealth Consultation form. (Simple Practice is so easy to navigate, even I can do it.) If you run into problems, email me.
4) A few hours before your appointment, Simple Practice will send you an email with a link to access the virtual consultation. Try the link ahead of time. Some cell phones require you to download an app. Desktops or laptops won’t.
5) We’ll meet! I will ask you what brings you into therapy and what your goals are. You can ask me anything and I will do my best to address your concerns. We will connect informally to get to know each other, but observe professional boundaries.
WHO THIS WORK IS FOR
* You have been in therapy before and you’re looking for the next phase in your growth.
* You have an understanding of your mental and emotional processes, and you can verbalize them.
* You can verbalize your goals.
* You’re done being an externalizer, and you appreciate personal responsibility for thoughts and feelings.
* You are ready for measurable change or willing to try, and able to commit to a window of time to achieve it.
* You can stay present in your body and maintain present awareness, or you’re willing to take the extra time to achieve this ability before we can engage in trauma work.
* You appreciate humor. Humor is a therapeutic intervention, not a sign of lacking professionalism.
* You seek a real relationship with an authentic therapist while maintaining professional boundaries. No blank slate here, that’s so last century.
THIS WORK MAY NOT BE FOR YOU IF…
* You require a level of care I can’t offer, such as active suicidal ideation, substance abuse, or a mood disorder. If we find out that this is the case, I will help you with a referal.
* You need around-the-clock support, or depend on ongoing support to function. I am unable to offer this level of care in solo practice as I don’t have any staff.
* You are unable to make a consistent time commitment of 3-6 months. While I do take time off as well, I aim to provide shorter-term, focused therapy that builds on self-supportive momentum.
* You “just want to talk about it”. While I hold a safe space for you and honor your pace, I am not a good fit for small talk.
*You are not ready to experience your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, or to verbalize. Therapy may be uncomfortable at times, even though I take great care to close each session with positive resourcing.
What others are saying
about my work
I sometimes hear that this work has ‘changed lives”, “exceeded expectations” and made clients feel “heard and understood like they haven’t before.”
Colleagues who recommend me wrote:
“Veronika is a compassionate and caring EMDR practitioner. She is innately tuned into the needs of her clients. I recommend her to men and women who have experienced abusive childhoods and/or relationships and are yearning for big life changes.“
“Also, X shared how impactful you have been to her over the past year and it was so touching. It made my eyes fill up with tears thinking of how meaningful your work is in this world. You truly are a lovely, kind and compassionate soul.” Ellie Kane, LMHC
“Veronika is a highly skilled, warm, and caring therapist. She has extensive experience treating grief and CPTSD and is an expert in treating poly, kink, and ENM couples and individuals. She excels at helping her clients achieve their goals.“ Milena Gordillo, MSW, LICSW
FEE SCHEDULE
60-minute therapy/EMDR: $160
90-minute therapy/EMDR: $240
90-minute IADC therapy: $250
60-minute couples counseling: $180
90-minute couples counseling: $270
I offer out-of-network benefits and I will provide superbills for insurance reimbursement.
PLEASE NOTE:
Insurance doesn’t pay or reimburse for IADC.
I accept Aetna, Kaiser PPO, and First Choice Health.
I offer Premera out-of-network benefits. Please feel free to inquire about details.
But…
It’s a lot of money.
Yes, I get it. It’s a significant investment.
However, at a higher fee, I can see fewer clients. This enables me to dedicate more time, focus, thought, continuing education, peer consultation, mentoring, professional EMDR consultation, and energy to you. Higher fees mean I can provide premium service. You are not just a number in a factory-style healthcare mill, but a unique person I can get to know as intimately as you let me. I can commit to your care at a much higher level. We’ll get more done in less time.
It’s not a good time.
It’s never a good time for life changes. It’s definitely never a good time to look at what we prefer to avoid. If we as humans had it our way, we wouldn’t change at all because the timing’s never quite right to leave our comfort zone.
But the right time is never coming unless you make it so, and your lifetime passes by every day regardless.
It’s too disruptive.
It’s a valid concern if you’re steeped in responsibilities and demands. However, it doesn’t have to be disruptive. I’ve often read that most EMDR processing happens between sessions or even in your sleep because we activate a natural healing process in the brain. And that’s without homework.
Besides, I’ll make you a deal. If I don’t listen sensitively to your needs and adjust to your unique pacing, you get to fire me.
It’s too painful.
You may have been disappointed in the past by endlessly “talking about it” and feeling worse after therapy. Maybe you couldn’t function as well in your busy life, and you don’t want to take the risk again. But it can be different if we strengthen your positive parts/memories at the beginning of therapy and the end of every session so you don’t go back to life in emotional turmoil.
If I don’t listen and take your feedback into account, fire me. Healing is work, yes. You may be uncomfortable. But if you’re hurting more than before, we need to adjust the treatment approach so you can tolerate it. “No pain, no gain” is sooo 1980s.
You’re worth it.
Money can be replaced. Lifetime can’t.
YOUR LIFETIME AND LIFE QUALITY ARE YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSETS.
WELCOME TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL:
THE TRAUMA THERAPY LIFERAFT
CLICK HERE:
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/veronika.vivi.stutz/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573968523843
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/veronika-vivi-stutz-785a7b59/
CONTACT ME
Take your time. Share only what feels comfortable. This is simply a first point of contact — not a commitment.
You can also email me at: vivi@phoenixrisescounseling.org
A Good Faith Estimate is available upon request.
My license number in Washington state is LH 61526615.
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/veronika.vivi.stutz/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573968523843
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/veronika-vivi-stutz-785a7b59/
YOUTUBE: https://youtube.com/@TheTraumaTherapyLiferaft